Can’t Sing A Love Song

I’m strumming by the fire, guitar’s my only friend,
Dreamin’ of a voice that’d make her knees unbend.
Her eyes glow like moonshine, her grin’s my north star,
I’d croon a sweet ballad—if I weren’t so bizarre.
But my pipes sound like gravel, a frog stuck in my craw,
So I’ll skip the damn singing and head straight for her draw.

I can’t sing for shit, but I’ll eat that poontang right,
Slurpin’ on her bean ‘til she hollers all night.
No tune worth a damn, but my tongue’s pure finesse,
I’ll lap her to the heavens—call it oral success!

She twirls in the shadows, a goddess in my sight,
My whispers turn to stutters—she’s my late-night delight.
I’d trade my soul for vocals, a love song loud and true,
But my mouth’s built for feasting, and she knows what I do.
Tears hit the floorboards, my heart’s a busted string,
But down in her valley, I’m the muff-diving king.

I can’t sing for shit, but I’ll eat that poontang right,
Slurpin’ on her bean ‘til she hollers all night.
No tune worth a damn, but my tongue’s pure finesse,
I’ll lap her to the heavens—call it oral success!

I ain’t no damn troubadour, but I’ve got my own groove,
A flick and a swirl—hell, I’ve got nothin’ to prove.
She giggles at my warble, says, “Babe, you’re a clown,”
But when I’m chowing down south, she don’t make a sound—
‘Cept screamin’ my name, legs shakin’ like a quake,
My love’s a wet masterpiece, for goodness’ sake!

I can’t sing for shit, but I’ll eat that poontang right,
Slurpin’ on her bean ‘til she hollers all night.
No tune worth a damn, but my tongue’s pure finesse,
I’ll lap her to the heavens—call it oral success!

So here’s my quiet promise, no chords to tear us ‘part,
My love’s in every slobber, a feast straight from the heart.

“Keep munchin’, you rascal—don’t you dare stop now!”